Most of us have been in relationships where we felt misunderstood or unsatisfied. “He just wasn’t giving me what I needed,” several women have said. And I’ve heard several men say something along the lines of, “What the hell do you really want?!”
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Women aren’t that difficult to understand. This post explains exactly what we want.
1. We prefer small surprises.
Yes, we enjoy flowers and jewelry and will gladly accept both…
and I adore you for it. But we don’t expect you to go out and spend an arm and a leg on us every month. We are not out to break the bank, contrary to popular belief.
But we do enjoy small surprises. Is there a new wine that we’re crazy about? Stop by the store on your way home and pick up a bottle for us (because you know the bottle we bought three days ago is already empty). Do we have a newfound passion for yoga? Grab that $8 yoga mat you saw in the fishing aisles at Walmart.
Have we recently become obsessed with baking? Bring a baking cookbook (though, let’s be honest, you’re really helping yourself here). I’m not suggesting that we get expensive gifts every day or even every month.
However, a few times per year wouldn’t hurt. Because it shows that you are thinking of us. It gives us the impression that seeing us happy is important to you and makes you happy.
While sweet little surprises make us melt, the majority of what we require cannot be purchased. So pay attention, this is important….
2. We want to be able to communicate with you.
Concerning everything and nothing. You might think it’s insignificant that we’re having an open debate about whether we should wear taupe or ivory shoes with our blue lace dress. “Who cares, they’re the same color anyway, and no one is going to look at your shoes,” you’re probably thinking.
However, bite your tongue. We need to feel like we can be women in front of you… and women argue about taupe vs. ivory. Let’s talk about it. And if we ask for your thoughts, just choose a color. And you may not be interested in a story we saw on the news or read on the Internet, but if it’s important to us, let us talk about it.
Don’t give us the impression that you’d rather not be sitting here or that you have more important things to do. Let us discuss our fears, dreams, or what color we should paint the living room. We just want to know that we can talk to you about anything.
Be open to discussing the relationship. Always. If there is something we are dissatisfied with, we must be willing to discuss it. Don’t become defensive.
Don’t keep us out. That isn’t going to solve anything. Relationships are about getting stronger together, working better together, and making adjustments on both sides. How are we going to do that if we can’t even talk about how things are going?
3. We want you to be concerned about us.
Inquire about our day. We need to know that you’re still interested in what’s going on in our lives. Listen to us if we’ve had a bad day, whether at work or at home with the kids. We’ll feel better right away. It never hurts to offer some words of encouragement as well.
4. We want you to have faith in us.
Have faith in us. Believe in us, regardless of our hopes, goals, or aspirations. Motivate us. Tell us we’re capable. You’re supposed to be our most ardent supporter…our biggest fan.
5. We want to feel valued.
For who we are, what we do, and what we are aspiring to be. If we make dinner, please thank us or let us know how it turned out… If it wasn’t good, compliment the taste of the water. Every Sunday, we don’t mind doing the laundry.
However, if you notice all of your shirts hung up and facing the same way, please let us know how much you appreciate it, especially if we used fabric softener. That’s a lot of money, and we wouldn’t use it on just anyone’s clothes.
6. We want to feel like a group.
Offer to clean up if we cooked dinner. While we’re cleaning the house, please wash our car. There may be times when you unload the dishwasher once a month and times when we do the laundry once a month.
It’s not about keeping score or evening things out. It’s about cooperating, because a relationship requires two people. Teamwork necessitates compromise. Working as a team requires you to collaborate rather than compete. It’s about realizing that the two of you are partners, not adversaries.
7. We want you to advocate for us.
If someone is questioning our decisions or actions, please defend us. Stand up for us if someone is putting us down. Speak up if someone is undermining our achievements. If someone calls us insane, first agree with them, then defend us.
8. We want you to catch us if we fall.
I’m not going to lie to you. There will probably be days when we feel down in the dumps, and those days will usually occur after we’ve failed at something or when we’re just wondering if we’re cut out for something. Allow us to cry on your shoulder. Tell us we have worth and encourage us to keep going.
9. We’d like for you to make us laugh.
This is most likely the sweet spot for all women. We want you to be able to make us laugh because when we’re happy, it makes us happier; when we’re sad, it makes us happy; and when we’re mad…well, it’ll probably irritate us more at first (c’mon, stop making us laugh, we’re trying really hard to be mad at you! ), but it will eventually lighten the mood. If you can make us laugh, we will fall in love with you over and over again.
10. We’d like you to text us.
It makes no difference what you text us—just text us. Please say hello and thank you for thinking of us. Telling us you can’t wait to see us will brighten our day. Inquire about our health.
Send us a funny photo. Tell us about a new song you’ve been enjoying. Tell us about Zach’s practical joke on Shaun. We’re not picky; we don’t care what you text us; we just want to hear from you.